第一次難得吃了一個小時，晚餐還沒吃完。讓我想起了去年十一月，我一天可以吃少過一餐的日子。那個時候，我瘦了三公斤，很令人難以置信。
這次的食不下嚥，是因為一些縈繞在腦海和心房裡的東西。關於「錯過」這個東西。
hacked
So I finally got hacked, after feeling smug that I have used a password for years that nobody would have guessed, because well, it’s an anagram of a random person’s name that I have known when I was 14 (I’m 23 now, so I have been using that name as a password for 9 years). I do make a teeny weeny bit of variation to it, but since nobody would have linked that anagram to me, I reckoned that I was safe, and used that for several accounts – Gmail, Hotmail and Twitter.
It happened like 4-5 hours ago, when I can’t log into my Hotmail account. So I reset the password by going the long way, since the person has changed the security question. It went fine, with the reset link sent to my Gmail and I was back into my Hotmail account again. I changed my password and security question, thinking that it would be fine again.
Later on, I was on Twitter, checking out live translation tweets of Strong Heart – YG Family Special, when suddenly I got logged out. I reset the password and went to my Hotmail, only to find it hacked again. So I do the recovery thing again, this time to find another reset email added, and a new phone number as well. I tried logging into my Gmail, only to find the account deleted. And with that account deleted, my Youtube account got permanently disabled. There goes my videos with 37k views. I went to check my Facebook, and to my horror the password has been changed as well.
Lormee said that it’s probably a computerized hack (since my password is only 6 alphabetical characters + 2 numbers), and there are people who got their email accounts hacked repeatedly as well. But who would go through the extra trouble to delete my Gmail, change the passwords of my Twitter and Facebook accounts? I mean, to spam my contacts? (I’m sure my 1100+ friends sure look tempting.. But still).
I’m so upset that I got way behind schedule for the things that I have planned to do. T^T I shall go sleep everything off
TBQH, it feels …
TBQH, it feels kinda weird to be blogging here again, especially when I’m too used to tumblr these days. But then again, I don’t spend so much time on my personal tumblr – it’s more of queuing posts for my followers to see (I’m amazed that I’m still gaining followers when I reblog posts most of the time. o.o
Anyway, what goes beyond this More part is just a rant of mine. You (that is, if any of you still come here lol) can choose not to read it. I just feel like.. writing it out.
eway reayay oinggyay utoay
i knew this was coming when i realised that CBU is a fanfic that involved gangs. you can never have a happy ending when one of the protagonist involves a gang leader. i knew it from the start that it was going to be a BE, but i still dived in and read the fic, and now i’m in a pool of tears with You & I blasting in my itunes because the lyrics just fitted the story so well.
You and I together, it just feels so right
Even though I bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hand
Even though I bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
many thoughts came into my mind as i read the fic, thinking that while we have craved for so much drama in our lives so that it makes living more worthwhile, when we are in the drama we hoped so much for a peaceful life because what drama would give you is immense pain.
i craved for drama too, and when i got involved in the very heart of it, i was eventually left feeling very broken and wishing all that shit have never happened. i escaped, thinking that i’m finally fine again, only to have it came back in the ghost of a night, making me realize all those feelings have never gone away for some strange reasons.
i don’t know why am i writing here, i guess it’s because of the tears and the memories coming back, hitting me full in the face again. i’m crying so hard that my head hurts. it’s been so long since i’ve cried this hard, not even on the night of confrontation with jason and realising what a fricking bastard he was. heck, i can’t even remember if i have ever cried this hard.
and then there’s this part in the story:
The old saying: Would you still love me in the morning, replayed over and over in my mind. But when you love someone, truly love someone, it’s not that question you should ask yourselves when you wake up the next morning. The question you should ask is: Will fate let us be together again?
love is indeed a fucking crazy thing. so crazy i wonder if i would ever be able to love again.
(in case you’re wondering, the title is in Pig Latin)
1년 정거장
I can’t say
I can’t hold you
I have to act like I didn’t see the shaking lips or the tears that were held back
Hold me after this night goes, I’m sad because I feel like you’re not going to be there
It shines more right now, hope this moment lasts forever
I’ll always waiting for u, all day I wait for you (oh hoho)
I’m searching for you with no promise
One year station that I’m standing at
Think that the world was jealous of us
One year station, I can feel you at this place
The empty station where you’re not at, pray that we meet again
One year station, I can dream of you at this place ah ah ha
(no no no) Even if it isn’t only one night
Know that it’s a lie, it’s not me
Us meeting that crossed each other from together, the long long long buffering
Bush of ivy between you and me again, the scary jungle in reality
I want to help you up but I don’t have the strength to do that
I don’t like myself doing this; I’m tired of waiting for so long
Even if we’re far away from each other let’s keep our love
This isn’t a burden for me, it’s just a short break
Really surprise, I didn’t know that the day would really come
I didn’t know how precious you were because of my selfishness
365 again the number one bus, the bus that I’m waiting for which is you
Come into my arms having a big smile like you would do on an ordinary day
One year station that I’m standing at
Think that the world was jealous of us
One year station, I can feel you at this place
The empty station where you’re not at, pray that we meet again
One year station, I can dream of you at this place ah ah ha
In your small heart, in your small hand don’t leave a scar
In your small shoulders, in your pretty eyes promise to not see the dark future
One year station that I’m standing at
Think that the world was jealous of us
One year station, I can feel you at this place
The empty station where you’re not at, pray that we meet again
One year station, I can dream of you at this place ma baby
One year station that I’m standing at
Think that the world was jealous of us
One year station, I can feel you at this place
The empty station where you’re not at, pray that we meet again
One year station, I can dream of you at this place ah ah ha
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